Ode to Chevy

National Lampoons Vacation
I love Chevy Chase. You know when you come across that question, “If you could meet anyone that has ever lived who would you meet?” My answer is hands-down “Chevy Chase.” He is my all-time favorite actor. Nobody surpasses him in wit, charm and no one could possible play a bigger idiot so well. Every single movie that he has been in he plays a role that was written specifically for him. No one else could have possible played his roles as perfect as he.
My love for Chevy dates all the way back to “Foul Play,”(“You’re very pretty, with or without cleavage. Would you like to take a shower?”) which is the first movie I remember watching. I was 2.
My favorite movie ever is National Lampoons Vacation, you know, the infamous road trip to “Walley World!” I know every single line to that movie backwards and forwards. Including my favorite scene where he freaks out on his family in the truckster after they all ask him what he thinks about turning around and going home; “I think you’re all fucked in the head! We’re ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out! We’ll I’ll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation, it’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun! I’m gonna have fun, and you’re gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much fuckin fun we’re gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling Zippide-do-dah out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy! I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!” And the “Walley World National Anthem?” I sing it every time I get into the car to go on a road trip.
And European Vacation... own it. Christmas Vacation? My parents have it on VHS and it’s been a family tradition for the past 12 years to watch it on Christmas Eve at my parent’s house. My favorite line; “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas! No, no! We’re all in this together! This is a full-blown four-alarm holiday emergency here! We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fuckin Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jollies bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!”
My new quest is to get “Caddyshack,” “Fletch,” (“I would have been here sooner, but a manure spreader jackknifed on the Santa Ana. You should see me shoes.”), “Spies Like Us,” “Funny Farm,” “Three Amigos.” The list goes on and on. My goal is to own every single Chevy Chase movie that has ever been made. There. The perfect gift idea for me for Birthdays, Christmas, Arbor Day…etc.
Chevy has been out of the limelight for quite some time, but there is still definitely no replacing him in my eyes. Lately, Will Ferrell has come close. I think he’s my second generation Chevy. He’s awesome in “Anchorman” and everyone loves “Frank the Tank.” Actually, he’s hosting “Saturday Night Live” tonight. I think Chevy should host “Saturday Night Live.” You know, for old times sake. Just a thought.