Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Haiku Tuesday! Ode to Cornholio

Gimme some coffee
My name is Cornholio
It's for my bunghole

I know, I know, a sad, sad day in the history of Haiku's. Sorry.

Who else Haiku's? Go Here

Monday, November 28, 2005

Gettin Jiggy Wit It...

This morning was a Monday morning from hell. Not only is it raining, and cloudy, and crappy, I also started it off on the wrong foot all together. Now, some of you may be wondering, "Jen, why in the hell did you post a picture of two of the three plastic lawn ornament wisemen getting it on in the front yard of someone's home?" I'll get to that in a minute. But, first let's start off with my morning...

I woke up for my Monday morning 5:45AM Step/Sculpt class and it was business as usual. I had to move Josh's car in order to get my car out of the driveway, and after slamming his door at least six times to try and shut it (the latch is broken) I just decided to screw it, get into my car and leave. As I'm backing out of the driveway, into the street, The Rollerskate stops. Just stops. I tried to start it...nothing...tried to start it again...nothing. So, I walked into the house to recruit Josh (who is sleeping) to help me move my car out from the middle of the street. He then proceeds to bitch me out for slamming his door 6 times when all I have to do is...yadda, yadda, yadda...Did I ever tell you nothing gets past this man? He's sleeping ferchrissakes and he can STILL hear me beat the shit out of this car door!

Anyway, we move it from the middle of the street and it is now parked on the side of the street, left for me to deal with. Which brings me to the above picture. I had to drop Josh off at the train this morning so I could take his car and while I was driving home I saw what appeared to me as a mound of plastic lawn ornament wisemen. After looking closer I realized that that's no "mound" of plastic lawn ornament wisemen, that's two plastic lawn ornament wisemen in a compromising position on some dude's front yard! Fortunately, I had my camera phone with me to take a picture and share it with you, because how could I not!

And not only is this a manger scene...but it's a politically correct manger scene. I don't know if you can tell, but the dude on the bottom is a brotha...Hmmmm...a little jungle love going on at "50th and Bethlehem."

Let's all just be thankful that this nice Holiday Spirited citizen didn't put Santa in his sleigh up on the roof of the manger scene...because that would be just plain kinky.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Haiku Tuesday! *Gobble Gobble

Turkey Day is near
Mashed potato filled bliss dawns
Elastic waist pants

Who else Haiku's? Go Here!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Pizza of the Future

He's not your average pizza delivery guy. Dressed in what appears to be a helment found in the basement of your moms house, and an outfit that would cause even the most distinct trend setter to contract a bad case of whiplash, he's there...in a flash to your doorstep with just one push of the speed dial button on your telephone.

Last Sunday Josh came home with a craving for a pizza, so he ordered it from this place That's right...Galactic Pizza. And the answer is "Yes!" Weather permitting* they really do dress like the guy in the above photo and drive your pizza to your house in their little electric cars.

And the best part about it, besides their environmentally conscious vehicles is this:

~All of the power purchased to run our restaurant is renewable wind energy.
~All of our mozzarella cheese comes from cows not treated with rBGH growth hormones.
~We have incorporated a number of organic items into the menu.
~We have the Second Harvest Heartland pizza, where $1 is donated to this hunger relief organization every time the pizza is ordered.
~We strive to use packaging that is either made from recycled materials, or is 100% biodegradable.
~We incorporate hemp products into each menu category, and print our menu on hemp paper. Hemp is not only good for you, it is also very good for the Earth.
~In season, we try to purchase all of our produce from farms here in Minnesota or in nearby Wisconsin.
~We have an in depth waste reduction program utilizing pig farms for food waste and recycling whenever possible.
~5% of our after tax profits are donated to charity.

So it's like "Pizza with a Purpose!" How awesome is that? So next time you're in Minneapolis around Lake Street and Lyndale Ave go to Galactic Pizza and do something good for yourself and the planet!

*I am assuming weather permitting means no snow or severe weather...much like the 16 degree day we are having today...yuck!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Haiku Tuesday!

Snow is on its way
Covering familiar
Winter surrounds me

OK, well the snow hasn't actually made it to Minneapolis yet, but it's on it's way! And I'm kind of excited about that. Snow that is. But just wait until January 2nd...and then see how excited I am about snow. I'll take it for the Holiday's and then it can all just go away.

(The above picture was taken at Minnehaha Creek which is right by my house in Minneapolis...I got it from this site that has a pretty awesome phototour of the Minneapolis area.)

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Is it just me or....

Do you ever take pictures of yourself after you have gotten ready to see how you really look? You don't? Well, anyway, I sometimes do and I was taking my picture and look what happened...my camera went funky and created this weird sort of Jenni collage. Was my camera trying to tell me something? I didn't break it, becuase every picture I've taken since has been fine. Weird.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Jenni's Pet Retreat and Dog Spa...Day 4.

I'm waiting for FEMA to call me back and for Bush to deem my living room a disaster area. Notice the blankets on the couch, dog toys strewn about in what used to be my living room...it's simply terrifying. And every once in a while, when I look out of my office door into the catastrophe I see Lola scooting across the floor with Gretske right behind, trying to hump her...poor Lola.

Laddie has chosen to sit most of this morning outside away from the eye of the storm. Smart dog.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Haiku Tuesady #2

The Dog Sitter

Peace and quiet left

With the last owner's door slam

My sanity gone.

What you don't see in this picture is Laddie. So, two sat dogs, plus my Lola (look how cute she is looking at the camera...what a ham)=one stressed out dog sitter. But it's worth every moment, to realize that I DO NOT need to adopt another dog, I can just sit them!

Thursday, November 03, 2005


"So, I was driving to work the other day, and this dick in a truck pulled out infront of me..."

"Little did Bob know that his backseat driver would be such a huge dick."

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Haiku Tuesday! *New!

It's Haiku Tuesday everone! Thanks to Libby we have something to look forward to every Tuesday...in the Haiku form! This weeks Haiku was actually written by Josh a couple of years ago in honor or Halloween, so I thought we'd start with that.

It's entitled: Halloween Haiku: By Josh.

October morning
A fresh breath of air to breathe
Candy is near me.

And for those of you who didn't come to our door last night for treats, this is what you missed...Josh in Damian's Stewy head handing out candy. It was quite a hit with the adults.