Friday, July 15, 2005

The Fantastic Four Strikes Again.

Cheers! Posted by Picasa

I should have known. I always should know that when I go out with Laura, Dave, and Gregg things get out of control. Last night is the reason why I am not out tonight. It’s 7:00 pm and I’m still hung over.

It all began with four good friends, a bar, a cocktail, another cocktail, another cocktail…and so on and so forth. Whenever we get together we get drunk, overanalyze each other and fight. It’s fun.

Last night I watched as Gregg picked up what we believe was a prostitute. She was with a date, an older overweight man in his late 50’s. He was fat and she was wearing a short skirt. Gregg is amazing. He sees something he wants and last night he apparently wanted the prostitute. He walked right over there and started a conversation as the three of us gazed on in amazement. Even more amazing was when she came over to the table and gave him her phone number with a wink and a sultry smile. We cracked up. Gregg got some digits from a hooker. Sweet.

I also pulled a real classic one. I saw this guy who I always thought was so hot in college at the bar last night, so what do I do? I walk right over and tell him how hot I thought he was. Yeah, I was drunk.

I think I dropped a glass, and broke it. I honestly don’t remember. Oh, I also lost my cell phone, but retrieved it after placing an all point bulletin on email this morning, apparently I was the only one awake at 8 am because I didn’t get a response until around 10:00. The emails went something like this:

8:22 am: Hello All. I'm writing this email to place an all-points-bulletin on
my cell phone. Dave, I think it may be on your dining room table.

If anyone could please call him and let me know by email it would be
greatly appreciated.

I am still drunk.

9:16 am: Um YEAH, I don't mean to be a stalker, but can SOMEONE please email me back so I know you are getting these...I'm serious. I can't call
anyone because I don't know anyone's numbers...they're all in my cell
phone which is MISSING right now. Please, Please, let me know that
everyone's OK and that you are getting these...please....

9:36 am: Ahem, still looking for my cell phone.

I am still drunk.

9:54 am: Panic has now set in. Seriously. I'm hyperventilating and I can't
call 911 because I don't have a PHONE and no one will email me BACK.
I need to leave my house and I have no mode of communication. I am
now suicidal. I am not kidding.

10:00 am: I am still drunk.

10:15 am: Desperation. I have never felt so vulnerable in my entire life.
Excuse me while I crawl into a corner and rock myself into
familiarity. I have nothing. No phone, no friends that will email me

I am now hung over and the buzz has worn off. I am no longer drunk.

10:24 am First Response Back From Gregg: I'm here, what do you need.?

10:25 am: SWEET JESUS! I need you to get a hold of Dave to see if my phone is on his dining room table.

10:26 am Gregg: I just woke up...and why was I riding in a limo last night?

Yup, Gregg, the same guy who had earlier picked up the hooker managed to get himself separated from the group and scored a ride around town with some huge brotha in a limo. All while still in his softball uniform and baseball hat. Nice job Gregg.

I did end up getting my phone today, which was on Dave’s dining room table. It was then he told me that they stayed out until 5 am and went to an after bar where Dave won the “Jackass of the Week” award after he spilled a full glass of red wine on some lady’s white couch. God that’s smooth. His friend went over today and got the stain out for him. Apparently, a concoction of hydrogen peroxide and Dawn soap did the trick. Put that mixture in your filing cabinet for future reference.

Tomorrow I leave for Hayward again…I can’t wait. Although this time we’re going to be working on the cabin. Still, 95 degrees and sunny…the lake is calling my name. Chrissy and I are taking a girls weekend as Luke is climbing Mt Rainier. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for Luke and a successful summit!


madman said...

Have fun at Hayward! my fingers are always crossed. Thanks for the describtion!

darianj said...

LOL...Great story. Love the pic.

Charlie Mc said...

awesome post.....I love when people get beer balls and just say what's on their mind!!!

x said...

Hilarious fun! Love the recap!