The Fantastic Four Strikes Again.

Cheers! 

I should have known. I always should know that when I go out with Laura, Dave, and Gregg things get out of control. Last night is the reason why I am not out tonight. It’s 7:00 pm and I’m still hung over.

It all began with four good friends, a bar, a cocktail, another cocktail, another cocktail…and so on and so forth. Whenever we get together we get drunk, overanalyze each other and fight. It’s fun.

Last night I watched as Gregg picked up what we believe was a prostitute. She was with a date, an older overweight man in his late 50’s. He was fat and she was wearing a short skirt. Gregg is amazing. He sees something he wants and last night he apparently wanted the prostitute. He walked right over there and started a conversation as the three of us gazed on in amazement. Even more amazing was when she came over to the table and gave him her phone number with a wink and a sultry smile. We cracked up. Gregg got some digits from a hooker. Sweet.

I also pulled a real classic one. I saw this guy who I always thought was so hot in college at the bar last night, so what do I do? I walk right over and tell him how hot I thought he was. Yeah, I was drunk.

I think I dropped a glass, and broke it. I honestly don’t remember. Oh, I also lost my cell phone, but retrieved it after placing an all point bulletin on email this morning, apparently I was the only one awake at 8 am because I didn’t get a response until around 10:00. The emails went something like this:



8:22 am: Hello All. I'm writing this email to place an all-points-bulletin on
my cell phone. Dave, I think it may be on your dining room table.

If anyone could please call him and let me know by email it would be
greatly appreciated.

I am still drunk.

9:16 am: Um YEAH, I don't mean to be a stalker, but can SOMEONE please email me back so I know you are getting these...I'm serious. I can't call
anyone because I don't know anyone's numbers...they're all in my cell
phone which is MISSING right now. Please, Please, let me know that
everyone's OK and that you are getting these...please....

9:36 am: Ahem, still looking for my cell phone.

I am still drunk.

9:54 am: Panic has now set in. Seriously. I'm hyperventilating and I can't
call 911 because I don't have a PHONE and no one will email me BACK.
I need to leave my house and I have no mode of communication. I am
now suicidal. I am not kidding.

10:00 am: I am still drunk.

10:15 am: Desperation. I have never felt so vulnerable in my entire life.
Excuse me while I crawl into a corner and rock myself into
familiarity. I have nothing. No phone, no friends that will email me
back...nothing.

I am now hung over and the buzz has worn off. I am no longer drunk.

10:24 am First Response Back From Gregg: I'm here, what do you need.?

10:25 am: SWEET JESUS! I need you to get a hold of Dave to see if my phone is on his dining room table.

10:26 am Gregg: I just woke up...and why was I riding in a limo last night?

Yup, Gregg, the same guy who had earlier picked up the hooker managed to get himself separated from the group and scored a ride around town with some huge brotha in a limo. All while still in his softball uniform and baseball hat. Nice job Gregg.

I did end up getting my phone today, which was on Dave’s dining room table. It was then he told me that they stayed out until 5 am and went to an after bar where Dave won the “Jackass of the Week” award after he spilled a full glass of red wine on some lady’s white couch. God that’s smooth. His friend went over today and got the stain out for him. Apparently, a concoction of hydrogen peroxide and Dawn soap did the trick. Put that mixture in your filing cabinet for future reference.

Tomorrow I leave for Hayward again…I can’t wait. Although this time we’re going to be working on the cabin. Still, 95 degrees and sunny…the lake is calling my name. Chrissy and I are taking a girls weekend as Luke is climbing Mt Rainier. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for Luke and a successful summit!