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Sunday, June 26, 2005


Kids: Sugar, spice and everything nice? Posted by Hello

I think I’m broken. Not broken in the conventional sense, broken in the psychological one. You see, many of my friends that I have known for a long time are having kids and the thought of having children is at the absolute bottom of my list of fun things to do. It must be something to do with my biological clock. It must be broken.

This weekend I spent some time with my family at my sisters lake home. I was able to meet my new great nephew William (who is called Isiah, his middle name). He is so very beautiful and perfect in every way and when I saw my niece interacting with him and she was so loving and motherly all I could think of was “Pass.”

Is there some sort of snooze button I should be aware of here? I didn’t come with any sort of manual…maybe I’m not plugged in. I don’t know. Do I have the motherly instinct? I don’t know that either. But who really knows? I guess only time will tell.

By the way, the little cute blonde girl on the right side of the photo is my mom about 66 years ago…isn’t she adorable? Wait…was that a tick?

On a lighter note, it’s officially the four day countdown to the four day party in Hayward WI, which I believe I previously deemed “Drunkfest 2005.” You know my friend Chrissy, my friend since I was like 4 years old and also my partner in crime and the costar of Random Drunk Story #1, yeah, her…she’s pregnant. So, as you can imagine, no keg stands or "random shot of the day" for Miss Prego. However,because of her "condition" she is an automatic sober cab...no more "not its" to be yelled this year.

I look forward to this trip every year as it’s a time for all of us to get together, hang out in the lake and just act like a bunch of assholes. It’s great. And when I say assholes I mean shoot bottle rockets at each other type of assholes, run butt-ass naked out of the lake around the cabin in the middle of the day kind of assholes, and yes, slam riding lawnmowers into the side of random parked cars kind of assholes (which as I stated before was a total accident).

As a matter of fact, I am so excited I cannot even stand it. Like excited as in obsessing over what I need to pack; food, drinks, clothes, swimsuits, drinks, snacks, drinks. This week is going to be tough, but I will somehow make it through with the focus of a gazelle…if that makes any sense whatsoever. Because there is only one means to this end and that’s me in an innertube with a cocktail in my hand. There’s a lake in northern Wisconsin and it has my name written all over it. Damn right it does.

10 comments:

Miss_Vicki said...

Hell, I'm 37 and I don't have kids, and I'm not all that upset about it. Sure, they're cute and cuddly and do and say funny things... but 24/7.... I don't know if I could hack it. Seriously. It's a fun place to visit, but I don't know if I wanna live there. Shit, at "my age" (I HATE saying that), it's probably best I don't go down that road anyway.

I miss those 'drunkfests,' I really do. Have one for me! (one "what" can be determined by you ;))

madison's favorite son said...

jenni- see you in four days. jenni- kids aren't about kids. they are about a relationship and a family. if you meet the right guy you'll want to share that. what else the fuck would you do if you were married? i can point you to the six women who have mothered my children for affirmation.

josheatspbj said...

mfs: Last time I checked Jen was married to me and the only thing we like to share is Skyy vodka! Not automatic ass exploding babies.

Jenni said...

Miss Vicki: I think you're right and "yes" I'll have more than one for you this weekend.
Madison: Meet my husbad, josheatspbj, who consequently is the cookie monstor of the blogging world.
Josh: I think you have the ass exploding thing covered as well. By the way...we're out of Skyy...bastard.

BlackJack said...

Kids schmids. If you've got nephews and nieces you get to play with them and then go home. An option that is denied to your siblings.

Also, I encountered an expatriate minnesotian this past weekend. I tried to get him to explain 'hot dish' to me but I just wasn't getting it. Of course, my lack of comprehension may have had something to do with the late hour. Or the alcohol. Or the drugs.

i.marzipan said...

Blackjack: Click on over to the right, to Slanderous Minneapolis, for some great hotdish recipes. Enjoy!

Jen: I will send you my recipe for Baby Hotdish. Babies are much easier to deal with when covered with green beans and shoestring potatoes.

R. U. Serious said...

We used to have a traditional "Spiro T. Agnew Memorial Party", which required all party goers to keep drinking, without sleep, for 24 hours.

Damned If I Know

Jenni said...

Danika: Thanks for the thought...but I think I'll pass on the baby hotdish.
Serious: What a great idea...having a drinkfest to a crooked governor...shouldn't we all do that? I mean, since we all have one. Maybe we'll toast a few to our friend Jesse Ventura this weekend. Not that he was crooked or anything, he wasn't smart enough for that. Thanks for the idea!

x said...

You'll know if/when you want to have kids. Don't worry about it. I have a lot of friends that won't ever have kids and some that had them the second they were married. I knew I wanted them but I wasn't all kid-crazy like some people, if we didn't have any I wouldn't have thought life was over. Now that I have my daughter it's awesome. I know I want another but if it doesn't happen I'm okay with that too.

If you're worried about not hearing the clock ~ be thankful, the people that do usually end up insane or insanely annoying.

Operator15 said...

I used to be afraid of getting pregnant like I was afraid of dying. Now I have a girl and boy (two genders, collect em all!) and I'm not so afraid of dying anymore.

All my friends are childless and nearing the end of the reasonable breeding age. They all seem happy enough to me. Of course, they're all also a little obsessive about their pets. I'm sure that's just a coincidence though.