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Kids: Sugar, spice and everything nice? 

I think I’m broken. Not broken in the conventional sense, broken in the psychological one. You see, many of my friends that I have known for a long time are having kids and the thought of having children is at the absolute bottom of my list of fun things to do. It must be something to do with my biological clock. It must be broken.

This weekend I spent some time with my family at my sisters lake home. I was able to meet my new great nephew William (who is called Isiah, his middle name). He is so very beautiful and perfect in every way and when I saw my niece interacting with him and she was so loving and motherly all I could think of was “Pass.”

Is there some sort of snooze button I should be aware of here? I didn’t come with any sort of manual…maybe I’m not plugged in. I don’t know. Do I have the motherly instinct? I don’t know that either. But who really knows? I guess only time will tell.

By the way, the little cute blonde girl on the right side of the photo is my mom about 66 years ago…isn’t she adorable? Wait…was that a tick?

On a lighter note, it’s officially the four day countdown to the four day party in Hayward WI, which I believe I previously deemed “Drunkfest 2005.” You know my friend Chrissy, my friend since I was like 4 years old and also my partner in crime and the costar of Random Drunk Story #1, yeah, her…she’s pregnant. So, as you can imagine, no keg stands or "random shot of the day" for Miss Prego. However,because of her "condition" she is an automatic sober cab...no more "not its" to be yelled this year.

I look forward to this trip every year as it’s a time for all of us to get together, hang out in the lake and just act like a bunch of assholes. It’s great. And when I say assholes I mean shoot bottle rockets at each other type of assholes, run butt-ass naked out of the lake around the cabin in the middle of the day kind of assholes, and yes, slam riding lawnmowers into the side of random parked cars kind of assholes (which as I stated before was a total accident).

As a matter of fact, I am so excited I cannot even stand it. Like excited as in obsessing over what I need to pack; food, drinks, clothes, swimsuits, drinks, snacks, drinks. This week is going to be tough, but I will somehow make it through with the focus of a gazelle…if that makes any sense whatsoever. Because there is only one means to this end and that’s me in an innertube with a cocktail in my hand. There’s a lake in northern Wisconsin and it has my name written all over it. Damn right it does.