Tuesday, May 23, 2006

My Life On Backorder

It seemed as though nothing was going my way. I mean, being an individual of instant gratification (which includes, but is not limited to having the patience of a six-year-old) it makes waiting for things…well COMPLETELY unbearable.

The beginning of last month I ordered a pair of outdoor drapes from Pottery Barn for the pergola that covers part of my deck.

Aren’t they charming?

Anyway, when I ordered them online there was a notation in red that read, “This item will not be available until after May 5th.” Naturally I was hesitant because, waiting three weeks for something is NOT in my nature. But I ordered them and waited…and waited….and eventually the second week in May I called the customer service line searching for my purchase.

“Oh, well, we’re expecting another shipment in on the 18th.”

“Great! Can you check to see if I’m in that shipment, Thanks.”

“Well….it’s more complicated than that because there’s a list.”

“O.K., how long is this list?”

“Well…there’s 400 orders on this list.”

Little did I know that outdoor curtains from Pottery Barn would be in such high-demand. So I decided to wait and call back the next week.

“Yeah, apparently you weren’t on the list for that shipment, let me check with my manager and see if you’ll be on the next list.”

“Thanks” (Listens to jazzy Pottery Barn Music while on hold. Dances a little in the living room, perfects the “mambo” while incorporating a little “ball change.” Thank God for cordless phones.”

“Hello? Yeah, looks like you’re on the next list, they should be there before June 1st. It looks like you have another order here, would you like me to check on this one also?”

Yeah, it seemed that the whole “backorder” thing has become addictive because while perusing the Pottery Barn catalogue I came across this really cute star clip light-bulb cover that would go PERFECT in my upstairs hallway.

So sassy.

Anyway, I HAD to have it and when the same backorder message came up I shrugged my shoulders and ordered it anyway. Looks like the Pottery Barn School of Backorder did a little work on my tolerance.

That is until I recently ordered a pair of Dansko’s from the shoe shop in my neighborhood.

Look how cute! RED shoes! I’m a veritable effin Dorothy over here!

Anyway, they were out of my size so I had them place an order for me. The lady said it would be five to ten days and although two weeks seemed like an awfully long time for me to be able to tap my heels together and wish for home, I agreed and place the order.

So, yesterday, since it had been EIGHT days, I called to check on my order and the guy that answered the phone said “Oh, yes! Well, these shoes are on backorder until June 26th.”

“June 26th! Sweet Jesus! I’ll never get home!”

“What? Do you want to still keep the order?”

“Sure. But is there anyway you could get them faster? Like tomorrow?”


“Fine. Thanks anyway.”

So there you have it. Everything in my life is on backorder. But the good news is while I was typing this I received a shipment conformation from Pottery Barn and my drapes have been sent! So, at least I can look forward to that.

It’ll be like Christmas…only not.
Oh well.


Barry said...

Maybe pottery barn outdoor drape stocks would be a good investment...I know what you mean for it to be like Christmas, but not. I ordered some extra guitar strings and stuff, and when they came in here it was like that (not as noticeable as drapes maybe)...anyways Merry Christmas - or not

Scott said...

Very funny blog! I will be back for sure. Hope that yours stuff arrives soon.


the belligerent intellectual said...

My sister once actually said to a Crate & Barrel customer service representative who told her her item was on a month's backorder, "But what if I die before it gets here?" I don't even think she was drunk at the time, just honestly wondering what would happen.

Momentary Academic said...

I have a problem with waiting for things too. I'm glad that it isn't just me.

flea said...

ooohhh this stuff is so super cute! no wonder you are so anxious to get them (i espically luv the red shoes!)

i need to check out their web page

Steph said...

I am so with you on this one. I have to have everything NOW! I hate shopping, so catalogs are perfect for me, except for the wait. So I end up paying the extra thousand dollars for overnight shipping, just because when I spend money, I want immediate gratification!

I hate the whole concept of backorder.

Anonymous said...

I tend to forget I have things on backorder so when they get there it seems like something new. Momentary Alheimers can be a good thing for just backorders only though.

mysterygirl! said...

You are a strong woman to wait, Jenni. I tried to backorder a dress from J. Crew, and after selecting it (with the new shipping date next to it), it suddenly said there would be no more in stock. Wha? How could they change their mind so quickly?

heather k said...

Frequent backorder is a good sign that a retailer doesn't have their shit together as a business.

It sucks when that retailer is one you fancy.

Mpls_red said...

My fun and witty message here is on back order. Please check back in with me around the first week of July


Heather B said...

I get so pissed when I can't have what I want, when I want it, I tend to throw a fit ... which is always directed at my husband.

Who just stares at me for a minute and then goes back to his book or whatever he was doing.

I must say, even though a tiny part of me feels guilty for saying it, I adore Pottery Barn! I know their stuff is not original, blah, blah, blah but everything is so nice and simple - it gets me everytime.

Right now I am lusting over one of their jewelry boxes, if I buckle down and spend the $89 remains to be seen!

Neil said...

Am I the only one here who had to look up "pergola?"

The Muse said...

I hate backorder specifically on clothing. Because if I'm thinking about it then, I'm already irritated enough that I have to wait the week or so for standard shipping. If its backordered (as my fave pants from Victoria's Secret usually are), then I always think that I'm more likely to find something to purchase in its place in a quicker amount of time. Which I never do. And then I'm even more bitchy and impatient.

Mpls_red said...

As it turns out, fun and witty messages have been discontinued. If you like, you may exchange the fun and witty comment for a dry and boring comment.

Thank you!

ducklet said...

i guess i can sympathize, because i do this with my boss all the time.

boss: hey, isn't your report due today?

me: it's on backorder. look for it around the first of the month. if you'd like, you cancel your order. please.

Winter said...

I thought I was the only one who did this!

Don't copy me.

Hipster Pit said...

I HAVE THOSE SHOES. They're really fabulous. Danskos=comfort supreme.