Thursday, May 18, 2006

And now....On with The Toilet Monster

My sister voted for Bush…I know, sad. Ever since then, I haven’t let her forget it. I buy her stupid Bush things and then have them sent to her house with notes attached like “Hey, you brought this on yourself.” Like the time I sent her the book of “Bushisms.”

More recently I was surfing the net and found “The Farting Bush Doll” here. I HAD to have it, and I HAD to have it shipped to my sister with an enclosed card that read. “Here’s your President, busy stinking up the whole damn country. Nice Job.”

Anyway, you pull his finger and he says things like “(Farts loudly)That’s what I call the flatulation proclamation.” And “(Farts loudly) America, I just S*!t in my pants.” It’s great.

Oh, the Toilet Monster…ANYWAY, ever since I bought the Farting Bush I get a newsletter via email from The Prank Place, and the other day they sent one titled "The Toilet Monster is on the loose at Prank Place" featuring, the one and only “Toilet Monster” which is funny, because a few years ago Josh and I bought his Dad the EXACT SAME toilet monster as a gag gift for Christmas. (Because what else to you buy a man who already has a remote control fart machine?) Wanna know something even more funny? Josh’s dad had already bought the toilet monster for HIMSELF.

It gets better.

So, one day Josh’s dad thought it would be funny to install The Toilet Monster in their hallway bathroom (which is right by the door to the garage) in a really lame attempt to scare Josh’s mom who was out running errands.

Now, unfortunately for her (and the toilet monster) she pulled into the garage and had to pee…really really bad. So, she rushed into the bathroom, flipped up the toilet lid not paying ANY attention to the red plastic monster that was lunging at her ass, sat down and…yup…peed all over the toilet monster.

She was pissed…literally. She had to not only clean the entire bathroom, but also had to boil the toilet monster and wash all of her clothes.

All for a prank. A prank that ended up being much more funny than intended, all thanks to The Toilet Monster.


Barry said...

I guess I am sheltered- I never had a toilet monster :P

threetoedsloth said...

I just wet my pants.

the belligerent intellectual said...

They should make one of these for the Cookie Monster. Not to use in a jar of cookies, but to use in a toilet. I always thought the Cookie Monster was scarier than he got credit for, and lunging forth from a toilet is just the thing to build street cred.

The Muse said...

I am *so* buying one of those for my dad for his birthday. Which, coincidentally, is the same day as Father's Day. He'll love it.

flea said...

omg that is just to funny! i so need to get my husband one of these to pull a prank on him ~ he would just die of laughter

and i'm always on the receiving end so it would be nice to pull one on him for a change

liberalbanana said...

Thank Jebus I am alone in the office today because no one would've found the gasping-for-air/honking sound of my laughter very professional. The Bush Doll? Was AWESOME.

mysterygirl! said...

You totally should have known that he would already have a Toilet Monster. I mean, come on. What self-respecting prankster doesn't? :)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

No such thing as an original idea, I guess.

As always... Rachael said...

Never had a toilet monster scare, but I have peed all over myself thanks to the saran wrap trick. It's so much funnier when it happens to someone else!

Momentary Academic said...

That would have scared the crap outta me.
(drum roll and cymbal crash)

Mike said...

OMG, I am busting up over here! That is classic!