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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Electrical Transformer, 4; Squirrels, 0


There’s nothing like waking up to the sound of a squirrel frying itself on an electrical transformer that resides three houses down. It’s actually kind of poetic, but sad at the same time. Looking out the window, the sparks flying through the air, reminiscent of some sort of sick 4th of July spectacular…and I have to tell you, If I were a squirrel I’d totally want to go out that way. Pissing everyone off as I fry myself on the electrical box that powers a block full of Minneapolis homes…”This is for running over my cousin in your fucking Volkswagen…zzzzzzzz.”

You see, this squirrel thing has become quite an epidemic the past few weeks with this morning’s causality racking up 4 dead squirrels and 6 trips from the electric company. You’d think they could figure out a way to prevent this from happening…apparently the squirrels continue to one up the folks at Excel energy.

I used to think my squirrels were smart. Being able to figure out how to get into the “squirrel proof bird feeder” my father made me. And then when they started to grow their own corn in my yard from the seeds in the bird feeder I was dumbfounded. I had officially announced that I was living with the smartest breed of “City Squirrels” this side of the Mississippi. And then it happened…about a month and a half ago when the first “Kamikaze Squirrel” decided to meet its fate with the transformer. And then a week later, another…and then another, and now this morning…another. Are they going crazy? Is it some sort of sick squirrel protest to keep us from enjoying electricity? Have we finally met our match…is this a sort of “Dooms Day” approaching where the squirrels finally start taking over the world, one electrical transformer at a time…I guess we’ll soon find out.

11 comments:

i.marzipan said...

Squirrels as suicide bombers/terrorists? Let's get Pat Robertson in to assassinate them.

Sandra said...

I think you're on to something here. If you Google "Squirrel Suicide" you get 159,000 hits.

madman said...

Gee--the crazy rodents-- In Arkansas Squirrel is good eatin!
Hey--off subject--your Tiny comment today had me laughing so loud that DG asked me three times what was so funny! Thank you for the laugh!

ArlenRay said...

Excellent post and even better picture!

Aliecat said...

We had mutant squirrels that were half bald and would maul you for your candy bar at college. They're rising up, folks, watch out!

LoreliaGilmore said...

I have a tree out in front of my house that is MASSIVE. No....really. Anyway it is the home and playground to like 6 to 10 squirrels. They are foul little beasts. They scream and piss as they run around the tree chasing each other.

Aliecat said...

My cats love watching the little verming though.

gabsmash said...

sandra... that is fillippiting hilarious. terrific post! great visuals, thanks for the laugh supply

x said...

My aunt was married to a man in Northern Wisconsin (of course) who hunted squirrels. Their entire garage would be full of hanging squirrel carcasses. It was disguisting. Ironically, the squirrels in the tree outside the garage were really friendly and we could play with them. How f'd was that? All their dead relatives in there and we were playing with them.
I had a squirrel tail that I kept in drawer in my bedroom. Gross.

So yeah, they're coming for coming for us.

Rob Lowe said...

A few more weeks and you should have a nice squirrel stole. And just in time for fall.

Deliciously fab

Danielle said...

Interesting visual.
Canadian squirrels are stupid and bad mothers. Baby squirrels are actually kindacute.