Thursday, April 06, 2006

A note from my car.

Dear Jenni,

This is the last straw. I’m writing this letter to you to inform you that I believe you need to pull your head out of your ass. Since when did my “Check Engine” light become a novelty? Seriously. It’s been flashing for like a month now and you’ve done nothing about it.

Remember that time when you drove all the way to Chicago with it flashing and you SWORE you would never do that again. I know, sometimes it lights up in error, but you’ve had ample time to drop it at the service station up the street and you haven’t. You just drive me by, ignoring all the bells and whistles I may throw at you.

I know I’ve been a pain in the ass lately with new brakes, new spark plugs, rotor, and spark plug wires…oh, and that little incident of needing a new ignition coil in the middle of a snowstorm on a two lane highway in BFE…but still, I’m your Car, your mode of transportation…your lifeline.

Please bring me into the mechanic soon to get this problem resolved. I want to be here for you for years to come.

Sincerely Yours,

The Rollerskate.

PS. My oil is 500 miles past its expiration date, you might wanna change it before I do something drastic. Bitch.


The Muse said...

My car would write a similar letter if it could get through the pollen and other road grime to find a way to write. Or maybe it would just write the letter in the pollen/grime on the back window. I was on my way to do that yesterday when my neck went out. Maybe today...

And thanks for the oil check reminder!

Momentary Academic said...

Oh, silly Rollerskate.

If only you knew how busy and popular Jenni is. She loves you, but doesn't really have that much time for you. But don't worry, you'll be taken care of soon enough.

Bud said...

That light can be a false alarm so much though.and then yu hve those times when it cost biig bucks just to turn the fucker off. Nothing wrong with the car, just a scam. Sometimes.

Mike said...

You really know things are bad when your car starts leaving you messages! Nice post!

mysterygirl! said...

I'm the worst at that-- I always let my car go too long between oil changes. I'm lucky it doesn't just explode one day when I'm driving down the highway.

On the bright side, the "check engine" light can be something minor, but it's a good idea to get it looked at. Listen to Rollerskate. :)

Steph said...

I just got rid of my Cabrio a couple of months ago, but when the check engine light went on, I would just reset it and ignore the fact that it ever went on at all. I needed a bit more than that before I was duped into taking it in! :)

heather k said...

I think auto manufacturer's should change "Check Engine" to "WTF?"

At least then you'd get a laugh.

Lord Chimmy said...

Ignore it. No sense paying for a diagnostic fee when you can just wait for your car to die and then get it fixed.

Then again, I have a towing packing with my car insurance...so I don't care where I break down. For some people this is a traumatic experience. For me...it means I don't have to go to work.

As always... Rachael said...

I'm a horrrible car owner. I get my oil changed about once a year. I'm lucky my car lets me go anywhere. If it had a brain, it would go on strike, for sure.

Mpls_red said...

Dear Rollerskate,
Thanks you for all of the information you provided in your thought provoking letter. While I'm out driving around to various dealers doing my JOB, I may stop into a Mitsubishi dealer and take a look at the all new Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. In addition to having the ability to go "top-less" it comes standard with a five year or 60,000 bumper to bumber warrany AND a 10 year or 100,000 mile powertrain warranty.
So, feel free to keep bring up all of your smart-ass comments, you end up getting a chance to become some other blonde girls rollerskate!

(Shameless plug from a local Mitsubishi Dealer)

Sins of the Flesh said...

How is the car doing?

Barry said...

SO a Tech tip: The check engine light most often comes on with a dirty air filter or loose gas cap. Check those. ...oh yeah and it wont be long before cars really are posting somewhere, they are already too smart for their own good.