Meet Barb.

Just to clarify before I begin, I am a horrible, horrible, person. You see, while walking to Pepitos on Saturday night I passed this photography store where amongst other pictures was the following. I couldn’t resist…I had to take a picture and write about this woman and what I believe is her life as I know it. So save your judgments, or cry’s of intentional social malice I am about to bestow on this poor woman, because it wasn’t me who decided to hang her picture in the window of an extremely visable photography studio, OH NO!


Meet Barb. Barb is a single woman in her mid 30’s who loves her cockatiel Petie more than anything. Ever.

Barb lives in a one bedroom apartment on the frontage road of 494 in Richfield MN, which is conveniently located near the Hallmark store just a few miles away in Bloomington where she is the assistant manager. She drives a Ford aspire that she bought new in 1994. It’s pink.

Her favorite shirt is her grey turtleneck mostly because it covers up the unsightly mole that has surfaced on the right side of her neck. She wears it with her black slacks, trouser socks and SAS shoes.

Barb spends the majority of her free time with Petie teaching him how to whistle the theme song to The Walton’s of which her aunt bought her the entire VHS set for Christmas. It was on her list. She collects “Precious Moments” figurines of which she proudly claims to have the largest collection in the tri state area. Every other month you will find Barb at the local Cost Cutters getting a perm and an upper lip wax, only because they throw it in for free.

Barb is a penny pincher and spends her Sundays clipping coupons from the paper. She’s saving up to buy a double bed to replace her current twin, which is too small for her ginormous teddy bear collection.

She’s never been married and has recently began dating Rodney who is the night manager at the Subway next door, only because he gives her extra stamps.

She hopes one day to be promoted to store manager where she will then create an entire section of cockatiel greeting cards. In the meantime she is happy to stock other cards with puppies and kitties on them, knowing that her moment to shine is right around the corner.