Monday, September 05, 2005

Frogs and Gin...Happy Labor Day 2005

It was a dark and stormy night….O.K., well maybe it wasn’t stormy, but it was dark. While driving back from my sister’s cabin, and dodging thousands…O.K. maybe not thousands…hundreds…O.K., maybe not hundreds…twenties of road crossing frogs, one finally met it’s match with the Cabrio. We actually felt the poor guy hit the car, that’s right, we actually FELT it…poor Kermit. So, the next day I made Josh look to see if there were any frog guts on the front of my car and this is what he found.

I couldn’t look…it was much too gruesome…it’s poor little frog foot dangling from the underside of my Volkswagen…it was tragic.

In other news, my niece was married last Friday in a beautiful ceremony and reception at The Great Hall in St. Paul. Everything was running smoothly until Josh asked my 19-year old nephew to get me a glass of “White Zin (disclaimer: I’m not a fan, nor do I personally prefer drinking “White Zin”…and to this day swear I was set up…it was sabotage). And when he came back with a glass of GIN? Well, that’s when it all went down hill from there. I’m not kidding you, he came back with a GLASS OF GIN. I was later told by my cousin who was standing nearby that when the bartender asked, “Are you sure you don’t want a glass of White Zin?” His response, in his most educated authoritative “I am old enough to know” tone was “No, I want a glass of white gin.” No, tonic, no nothing…it was just gin. My cousin convinced him to throw in a twist of lime, and I was on my own…it was just me with my glass of gin. My brother (the Bride’s father) walked by and was real pleased to see that I was taking advantage of the open bar by drinking full glasses of gin.

After a glass of gin, one cannot just stop drinking, right? So I preceded to have a few more glasses, this time with some tonic and was at the end of the night feeling a little good, but not good as in who’s that drunk girl, good…good as in I have a nice gin buzz good.

On the way home I was forced in the back seat of Josh’s mom’s Murano, and what happened while driving down West 7th street? Yup, we were pulled over. Pulled over because apparently the Nissan Murano is the only new vehicle without daytime running lights. The policeman asked Josh if he had been drinking, which he replied, “No” and to his defense he really wasn’t. He only had a few beers at the beginning and his mom doesn’t drink, they were actually taking care of my Great Nephew the entire night. So the cop took his license and ran it, came back, and asked AGAIN if he had been drinking, to which he replied again, “No.” The officer then said, “…because I can smell alcohol coming from your vehicle.” To which Josh and his mom both replied in unison while pointing in the back seat “It’s her.” Yup, I was called out as the one who smelt like a huge distillery in the backseat and apparently I was trying to contain my laughter and couldn’t disguise the huge grin on my face…it was sad.

So, the five-o made Josh get out of the car and do a field sobriety test, which he passed with flying colors and we were on our way…stupid headlights.


x said...

It's really those family moments that we'll remember and pass down to future generations...

that's great!

And the frog story reminded me of that lady nurse who hit that guy and left him dying in her windshield until the next day. Poor frog.

(NOT that you're on that level of course, just made me think of it)

Please, stop crying

Chark Hammis said...

While I shed a little tear for "Croaker", don't let that little dude go to waste-- frog leg soup for dinner.

LoreliaGilmore said...

dude i am so thankful for running lights. i sware.

LoreliaGilmore said...

oh wait the best part...it reall rains frogs!

josheatspbj said...

That's a great name, Chuck Hammis.

Frog guts come out their mouth when you hit'em at 55;)

FYI: Jen only smells like a distillery after weddings.

Why the f#$% does the Nissan Murano not have running daytime lights? Doesn't the law require companies to build them so you can't turn them off?

Sandra said...

I can't believe you drank a big ole mug o' gin, Jenni - you rock.