Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Move over and give me some happy, damnit.

I believe they say that happiness is a "state of mind." I don't know who "they" are or what makes them the authority on an emotion that is clearly hard to define.

It has recently come to my attention that I am at a point in my life where I have pulled my head out of my ass long enough to realize that I have been selling myself short. Although I am not sure where I will go from here, it is at least something to think about, and hopefully act upon in the relatively near future.

I have a few questions. Excuse the random thought pattern, I am just thinking "out loud."

How does one incorporate what they love into their career? "Live what you love." It's a statement that I have been struggling with these past few years.

I want to be more creative, and I want to do so in an environment that makes me some dough.

I'm not looking to "get rich", I am just looking to make a living at something that I love to do.

The funny thing is, I am not exactly sure what that is. I mean, I love to write, I love to cook, and bake, and decorate. I have been told I am a great salesperson, "people person" blah blah blah...corporate bullshit...etc. So, how do I take these talents and make them work for me in the capacity I want them to work. Does that make sense?

Then I look at the things I have been through. I have overcome this obstacle of R.A in my life that I feel is just staring me in the face screaming, "DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT STUPID! Take what you know, and share it with the world! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

How can I incorporate what I have learned in a medium to help others, which will in turn give me a career that will fill this void I believe is missing in my life. Or, am I just crazy and selfish, and taking for granted the opportunities that I have now?

So many of us are stuck in the 8 to 5 jobs that we have mediocre feelings for at best. Just think about it...40 hours a week for the next 30-or so odd years is a lot of time, and a HUGE chunk out of my life. Why should I settle with anything less than what makes me feel like I am utilizing all of my potential?

Am I merely basking in the comfort of a salary and predictability as a means to float by, pay my bills in a timely manner, and ensure that I have proper health care?

Because if I am, that's bullshit. Plain and simple.

I just called myself out...Which stung a little...Damn, I can be tough.

Anyway, what I am searching for right now is a little guidance. Possibly some direction, a way to go...Some words of wisdom, or maybe just a swift kick in the ass.

Discuss amongst yourself, and feel free to clue me in on the mystery if you so desire.

*The above picture of my dog's asses was an accident that turned out to be one of my favorite pictures. Sometimes the unintended things in life can turn into a "happy accident." I just wish I could stumble upon a few more of them right now.


Anonymous said...

OMG, get out of my head! I've been whining the same things you said here for the past 2 years.

In my heart of hearts, I want to start and build a company doing *something* that uses my full creative potential. And yeah, I still need that pesky paycheck/stability, too. I keep turning over in my mind whether it is worth the risk. The answer is always "yes".

Like you, I'm stuck in corporate hell for now. I haven't quite found my *something*...but I sure wish you the absolute best in finding yours=)

Liberal Banana said...

My man is going through the same thing right now, and some RICH friends of ours gave him some advice. The husband, specifically, said that we should write down our goals. Goals about whatever. Long-term, short-term, anything you want. Try to be as specific as possible - but in the case of you and my manfriend and many, many others, go general if you don't know the specifics yet. Then read those goals to yourself every single morning. Your brain will subconsciously start working on solutions to those goals. Honestly! He said that this logic is why you shouldn't say negative things to kids like "Why can't you do this?" because their brains will start coming up with answers as to why they can't, instead of being positive.

In the meanwhile, we all work to make money so that we can enjoy life (hopefully) when we're not working: taking vacations, etc. So make the most of your free time, exploring your interests. Don't waste it watching mindless TV or doing whatever it is that you feel like you waste your time on... Focus on what really makes you happy - and then think if there might be a way to incorporate those joys into your life more and more. My best bud quit her government job and opened a doggy day care recently! She's dead tired but is much happier. :) Another TWO friends quit their jobs because they just COULD NOT TAKE IT anymore, and one found an even better job (same field) that has made her much happier (not just the extra $). The other gal just recently quit and is in Alaska on vaca, so I'm sure she'll start looking once she returns. :)

I hope YOU eventually find bliss in your day-to-day work!

Dave said...

Try to get a job at Utne Reader magazine. Aren't they based in your area? At least write and submit some articles about your R.A. story and see where it leads.

Steph said...

K, I never told you this (partly because last time I saw you, I wasn't aware of all the details), but I have an aunt who has RA. The medication she has to take is so hurtful to her bones and has caused such a bad case of osteoporosis, that when she just stands, she gets spontaneous stress fractures. She spends most of her time in a wheelchair already and she's only 52. I've been meaning for a couple of months now to get her on your Healing Plate website. After talking to you about it over sushi (with that totally funky soy sauce that you knew to use), I have seen first hand your quality of life. Quality of life that my aunt does not have. We had a great meal that night with lots of good wine and you knew how to do it. Do you know how many people you can help with that? This is what you said..."I love to write, I love to cook, and bake, and decorate." And I know how much you excersize.Put it all together and write a cookbook/lifestyle book for people with the same struggle. There are a couple out there but you know they're boring. You have a gift for writing and looking at life. Do it. :)
I'll be your cheerleader if you get stuck.

Grad School Reject said...

Jenni - This post? Truth. Not a chance I could have said it better, but I feel it too.

Kristen said...

You're speaking from my head/heart as well. Last night I had my first class. I'm taking the prerequisites that I need in order to apply to Veterinary school in a few years. And I have to admit that I'm terrified that I won't get in.
But maybe some of us should get together for a healing plate meal and help each other figure out and take the next steps towards fulfillment. I'd be in for that. Just not on Tuesdays and Thursdays- I've got school. :o

m.a. said...


We are totally supposed to live in the same city! I know what you mean.


flea said...

ugh, wish I could be of some help, unfortuantely, I am in the same boat as you, wanting to do something to change my life but can't seem to take that step to make the change

good luck :)

Bud said...

I'm late in coming because I've been away for three weeks. There are some very good suggestions from your commentors. I can't help better than that. I've been extraordinarily lucky my entire life. I always learned to love what I fell into: Journalism, teaching, teacher union journalism and now music--which started while I was teaching. And now I'm also teaching music. I have serious handicaps for all of those jobs but somehow my love of it made them all work. So I guess I've lived on the notion that people can learn to love what they do easier than they can find a job doing what they love. Maybe that's true or maybe that's just the way it worked out for me. I don't have a hard opinion. But I do know that if you set your goals down and read them aloud everyday, you'll most likely program yourself to get to the place you want to be. That really is how it's done.