Friday, August 08, 2008

Fun With Corporate Training (Alternate Title: Reason Number Two of Why I'm an Asshole)

Earlier today I had to finish a "Fair Lending" internet training session. For those of you who aren't up to speed on what "Fair Lending" is, it's basically a bunch of rules and regulations that we have to follow in order to make sure we are treating everyone equally in terms of lending money and executing appropriate customer service.

As an employee of an extremely large bank, I must complete this assigned training whether or not it specifically pertains to my job.

These sessions are usually tedious and boring. However, this session proved to be extremely entertaining as demonstrated by the following screen shot.

This made the water I was drinking at the time exit both out my mouth and through my nose all over my company-issued laptop.

I don't know if it's how blunt and matter of fact the statement "I don't like to lend money to gay people." is, or how douchebagish the guy in the photo appears to be, or a combination of the two.

It didn't end with "the gays" either. There was an instance where a Hispanic chico was hung up on, and where an Asian woman was nearly reduced to tears because of some asshole in the customer service department. I felt like saying, "Listen here Vicky Choi (that was her name) I have fallen victim to a rogue customer service agent a time or two and it's not fun. Next time ask to speak to a manager and get your business handled the right way...That's how we roll in America. Now go on over to M.I.T, get your degree in biochemistry and find a cure for cancer or some shit."

As you can see, "Fair Lending Training" did nothing for me.


m.a. said...

Oh my lord, you're hilarious. Please change jobs, move to DC. Then we can work out together. Or I guess I could change jobs and move to MN.

Bud said...

Hey, I'm an old musician. Can I borrow a few hundred bucks for dope?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I think gay men might be better to lend money to because they probably, on average, have better jobs than the other 90% of the population.

Then again, they might squander the money on Show Tunes on iTunes. Oh, snap! That was stereotypical.

anna said...

Ummm, I guess someone should have tried this training with Spain's Basketball Team. "Spain's Basketball Federation has published a good luck advert for their men's team, the world champions, in which they stand pulling at the sides of their eyes in a slit-eyed gesture." http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/aug/10/olympics2008.olympicsbasketball

Liberal Banana said...

Hi Jenni! Great posts. I'm going to be visiting regularly again, so I hope you're working on some good posts at this very moment. ;) I love the Fair Lending slide. Hilarious! I also love Mike Rowe. He's got such a great, dry sense of humor and oh yeah...HE'S HOT! And about Int'l Talk Like a Pirate Day, that's the day I leave to go to Europe for 3 weeks. So I think on my flight I'm going to try out that "More ale, wench" line on my flight attendant. I'll let you know how it goes over.

Steph said...

Hey, I nominated you to be in the Hot Blogger Calendar. I'm totally serious.


You can thank me later. But hey, if you win you get to go to NY for a photo shoot!

hee hee... :)