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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

200TH POST BITCHES!!!!!



First of all, I believe everyone should have an Andy Warhol inspired photo of themselves. This one was taken yesterday and was modified with my kick ass windows garden variety photo editor tonight. I invite everyone to do this to one of their photos and post it on their blog.

Do it now.

You know you want to. ( I.marzipan, this includes you...I feel abandoned and all alone...sniff sniff)

Now, on with the business at hand...In order to commemorate the 200th post on Swank or Skank I thought about writing an opinion blog on something important. Something like the war in Iraq, world hunger, or whether or not I feel our President is doing his job. I realized there are so many important issues that I should be considering, perhaps dissecting, or analyzing and while I thought of this I reached for my lipgloss.

ThatÂ’s right LIPGLOSS.

Which made me stop. At that very moment in my car I was surrounded my EIGHT count them, EIGHT tubes of lipgloss in assorted colors, shine, and flavors.

When did my life spiral out of control and when did I become so dependent on lipgloss?

And it's not JUST lipgloss...It's chap stick too, or as I affectionately call it, "chappy." If I don't have a tube of chappy on my person at all times you might as well forget about it as I will become cranky and non-functioning.

It can't be just ANY chappy either. It has to be Burt's Bees chappy.

Before I was introduced to Burt's Bees it was Carmex, which I believe was the gateway chappy to my addiction. Carmex is evil. It has that cooling menthol feeling that I liken to a sort of crack-induced haze that can only be relieved with another application. It's waxy-evil in a palm-sized jar, that's what it is.

I even have a process for application.

First, I apply the chappy, wait at least one minute, and then I apply the lipgloss.

Without them I feel naked.

Which brings me to the EIGHT TUBES of lipgloss that have found their way in my car. The eight tubes that took prescedence over evey other uber-important world topic that could have occupied my mind at the time.

I think I have a problem.

Twelve step program perhaps?

27 comments:

Teri M. said...

Woohoo! 200th! And a very timely subject indeed. It'd better be Burt's or I would have been very disappointed in you. And, uh, yeah - Carmmmmmmmmex. ::sigh:: Ya know, sometimes is just hasta be about the lipgloss.

p.s. Lurve the pic!
p.p.s. meant to say b4: Pretty flowers!!

Momentary Academic said...

Lipgloss. If more people were introduced to it, or kissed by people wearing it, world peace would happen.

What a great picture.

flea said...

ok wow where to begin here.....great pic, happy 200th post and CONGRATS!

and lastly i don't see the lip gloss thing as an issue, i mean every girl needs to be prepared for every situation and omg i luv burt's bees YUMMY it's the shit

Sunfish said...

I just bought my first tube of lip gloss the other day-I usually stick with the 'stick but the makeup aisle was calling my name and I was feeling experimental. It's a mango flavored lipgloss that looks like it'd have a tint of peach color to it but unfortunately, it does not. I thought I'd go back to get some darker colored ones, see what I like. Then I'll probably realize that it isn't the color, but the brand that isn't working for me, pick a new one, realize that's a bit too dark, need a lighter color... I see where this is going-thanks for the warning!

BlackJack said...

Congrats on 200 posts!

So this post made me curious as to how many posts I have on my blog and it turns out I hit 200 on Sunday without even realizing it! And that's not even counting the 50 or so drafts that I have but never posted. Yikes. I might need to get on that whole 'figuring out what I want the focus of my blog to be' thing.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jenni! I think you should give the brand and name of the 8 lipglosses and discuss the various merits and drawbacks of each. hehe. I'm always looking for suggestions, since I tend to lose them frequently.
And that is a fabulous picture of you.
Kristen

amera hearts said...

this post made me think of myself. if youwould go into my aparmtent you would fine "chappy" in ever coast pocket, ever blaser pocket, in every purse that i wown. you would find two in every room, with 5 being on top of my frdige and 3 being in the bathroom. if youw ould go into the hall closet you would fine a lot of chappy because i buy it all the time even when i don't need it. i apply it probably twice every hour. i'm addicted.

oh and carmex...i cannot remember the ingredient, but carmex actually dries you lips which causes them to be soft. can you believ it? it's this agent that dries the impurities so that your lips are perfectly soft. great huh? you can actually use it on any body part, like it you had a dry nose or something. i learned that in college!

okay have a good weekend.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

No problem. You have a little ritual for applying lip gloss and that's sweet.

I have a ritual for preparing the perfect diet soda drink. So I understand you completely.

Nice pic.

BionicBuddha said...

200 posts...you don't look it at all...must be the lip gloss and great diet regime! Congrats.




www.bionicbuddha.com

Sandra said...

Which option in Photo Editor? I don't seem to have an Andy Warhold option?

Yep, hear ya on the lipgloss. I don't think my lips have been naked since 1984.

Steph said...

Love that picture! You're beautiful. Although I kind of think you should Andy Warhol that rocker chick photo you e-mailed me the other day. That was priceless. You are well on your way to being Tommy Lee's next bitch.
Can't wait to see you!

Barry said...

Lipgloss huh? - cool effect on the pic.

So how come 200 is a 'milestone', and 198 isn't? - sorry, I digress...

mysterygirl! said...

Lovely picture!

I am a fan of Blistex Silk and Shine-- it smells and tastes so good, plus it is nicely moisturizing.

Mr. Cabrera said...

Great pic!

dr. kenneth noisewater said...

I like Carmex, but it's hard to keep in your pocket. I need to buy a fanny-pack just for my Carmex.

Blur said...

Our one and only store has replaced Carmex with Burt's Bees for the winter, leaving us with red flavored blistex and Burt's. I have tried them all down here (we use ALOT of chapstick) and Burt's is probably best.

Neil said...

I was looking at that artsy photo of you before reading the post and thinking, "Great lip gloss."

PJ said...

Happy 200th. I read your blog regularly but this is my first comment.

If you find a lipgloss therapist let me know. My name is PJ and I'm an addict.

http://cutewhenfrustrated.blogspot.com/2006/07/anatomy-of-lipstick-junkie.html

liberalbanana said...

I'm so with you on the chappy. And the glossy, as I'm going to call it. If I don't have some smack, er, chappy on me at all times, I start to hyperventilate. Need. Chappy. NOW. And I won't be able to stop thinking about it until my lips have been lubed. I'm getting all freaked out right now just thinking about not having some chappy nearby.

gabsmash said...

happy 200th biatch! love the pic

mcBlogger said...

Burt's Bees is fantastic! I concurr

Bud said...

I'd rather read about your lips and what goes on them anyday. Hey, I'm finally back.

LZ Blogger said...

Congratulations! 200 and going strong! You don't look a day over 25! By the way... the picture looks VERY NICE! Keep up the good work! ~ jb///

Joe G said...

what's wierd is for whatever reason i've been reading your blog for years and i don't read but 2 or 3 blogs. u r super swank!

roonie said...

I have the SAME obsession with lipgloss, fueled by - you guessed it - CARMEX.

There must be programming bugs in it or something, I swear.

Lil Kate said...

Oh my god!! I did the SAME THING! Started with Carmex, moved on to Burt's Bees! And now that they have those lip shimmers, I have no need for the additional lip gloss. Nice to know I'm not alone. ;)

Memphis Steve said...

Andy Warhol never looked so good. Plus, he's dead. So congratulations! You can be the next Andy Warhol, except better looking and occasionally mistaken for Miss Minnesota.