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Monday, January 30, 2006

It must be the paint fumes...

I painted my kitchen this weekend, which corroborates a strange kitchen-painting trend happening here in Minneapolis. It literally took me two whole days, with priming taking place Friday Night and the actual painting on Saturday. You see, the problem with my kitchen is it has so many corners, nooks, crannies, and wall space that it seemed like it took me FOREVER! Plus, the previous color was red so the primer was an absolutely necessity because normally, I skip that step at all costs.

So, I’m blaming the paint fumes for anything strange and unexplainable that happens to me for the next week or so. Which brings me to the conversation I had with my 72 year old father yesterday at breakfast.

My mom and dad came to visit for the day and took me out to breakfast. While we were sitting there drinking our tea, my dad looks at me and asks, “How many channels do you get on your cable?”
Not knowing where any of this was going I simply said, “I don’t know, does that include the music channels? Because if it does I get like 900 or so.”
“Do you get channel 555?” And he didn’t say it like that, you know five hundred fifty five…he said it like five-five-five.
“Um, I don’t know…well, you know we have different cable company’s so my channel five-five-five is probably not the same as yours.”
“There’s porno on my five five five. I tried to record it the other day to show your mother but I couldn’t figure out how to set the VCR."

Silence (Crickets chirping crickets chirping crickets chirping)

I looked over at my mom who looked at me like she already knew this little tidbit of unnecessary information.

“So, what you’re telling me, is you tried to tape porn to show mom? Like you couldn’t take her over the TV and show it to her? She was most probably sitting over in the other room anyway.”

That’s where as far as I’m concerned the conversation ended, despite his attempt to try and get me to explain that he most probably has to set channel five- five- five in the VCR to be able to record anything, I wasn’t going there.

10 comments:

Sunfish said...

That is too funny! My stepfather announced at his birthday dinner attended by many including the Rev and his wife, "That's not the only place I have gray hair." "That" being his head. >Shudder< As for the kitchen, no pic?

i.marzipan said...

Yeah, where are kitchen pics?

Sandra said...

You painted over the red? I loved the red! But I thought I liked Danika's green until I saw the new chocolate.... post some pics!!

Jenni said...

I sent you three the pic's on email...blogger is not letting me download photo's right now, mabe because I have the word "porn" stated mulitple times in my post.

;)

Oh, and I love how Erica is the only one mortified by my conversation with my father...and you two are more concerned with the paint. That cracks me up! But it's what I love about ya!

Mpls_red said...

Maybe he was asking you to help him program his computer in his own special way? By the way - I dont have five-five-five, damnit.

Mpls_red said...

Opps, I ment VCR. VCR. Looks weird dosent it? I mean really, is it a Beta Max?

Paul G said...

I hope I still have the kinds or "urges" your dad has when I'M 72...

jenni, You should be proud of your Old Man. Do your thing, Pops!

Sandra said...

Oh erm, that's embarrassing - I did zero right in on the home improvement thing. Do I really find paint more interesting than porn these days?? Yikes.

heather k said...

Parents say the darndest things... especially yours;-P This explains much about Jen Humor though.

Glibbidy said...

Try the Sherwin Williams Harmony paints next time. No VOC's, therefore no stink, no fumes, no headache, no bizarre events, no crazy porn posts, hmm...on second thought...