Friday, December 09, 2005

Things I've Learned...Holiday Edition.

This morning while I was in the locker room at the gym something dawned on me. As I gazed at the plethora of Lancome product that covered the counter space of my mirror buddy I thought to myself "Man, what we women do to make ourselves beautiful." Which was funny, since right after I thought that the woman looked at me and asked, "Do you ever look at everything you put on each and every morning and wonder if you really need all this stuff?" I laughed and agreed. She was right, and so was I. Here are some other things I learned this week...

1). Some things should be left acronymless. Like the "Planned Unit Development" committee of Oak Park Heights. (See above).

2) Instant: instantaneous: occurring with no delay; "relief was instantaneous"; "instant gratification"
"Valvoline Instant Oil Change" is by no means instant. But then again, "Valvoline Relatively Speedy Oil Change" just sounds weird.

3). Just because it was 1 degree yesterday, and it's 20 degrees today does not make it warmer, possibly more tolerable, but definitely not warmer. The word warm should be reserved for temperatures above 70 degrees.

4). The VW Cabrio can go from 0 to 60 in just under 15 seconds, which seems like 25 minutes when racing a 740i.

5). Just because one may own spandex does NOT mean they should wear it. Spandex is a privilege, not a right.

6). Sitting in the sauna for 5 minutes in a wool coat will most definitely help your extremities thaw...quickly.


Paul G said...

#5 should be enacted into law.

And how about "Valvoline-We Can Change Your Oil A Liiiiittle Bit Faster Than You Could So Just Come In And Wait 55 Minutes For Us To Do It-Oil Change ??

Sandra said...

Jenn, Steve's on 34th is nearly instant, and half the price of Valvoline - just a little tip I learned the hard way too!

I can just hear the Spandex police: "Ma'am, do you have a license for those pink bike shorts?"

BlackJack said...

In college we used to assess 15 yard penalties for illegal use of spandex. Man did the girls get mad when we threw those yellow flags in their faces.

Steph said...

.....yeah and it makes the wool smell so good, too! ;)

Momentary Academic said...

You're so right about the spandex.

The Muse said...

I quote #5 all the time. I avoid spandex at all times. Even on rail-thin model women its not always flattering. Mere mortals? Hell no.

And although I think Nichole was a good choice for ANTM, I was pulling for home-girl Nik, as Atlanta needs some more things to be proud of. Especially since our new brand campaign SUCKS.