10). It is possible to fit 10 (drunk) adults in a Mercury Villager. (I didn't say it was SAFE, I said it was possible.)
9). When you want to dance on the bar, at a bar in Northern Wisconsin, don't ask...Just do it.
8). Watching your friend walk up the stairs when they can't see (thanks to the half a handle of Captain Morgan they just drank) and not helping them isn't nice. It's funny, but not nice.
7). When you're sleeping in a tent with someone who snores when they're drunk make sure you drank enough to pass out too. If you don't, nailing them repeatedly in the arm with a closed fist will get you nowhere. Neither will slapping them in the face...Or punching them in the stomach.
6). Having a 45-minute conversation about politics while naked and skinny dipping with your friend's husband is totally socially acceptable.
5). So is burning your bra.
4). Heckling the person who is lighting off a major fireworks display will get you nowhere.
3). When you're on a three-day bender take a break from the sauce and learn how to knit. It would make Grandma proud.
2). Even when you pass up the opportunity to steal a cement pigeon from a bar, the chances of that pigeon ending up in your lawn as an ornament upon returning home are high.
1). The sound of a lone loon on a quite lake at 3 A.M. is quite possibly the most beautiful sound in the entire world.
14 comments:
At least you learned something. Whoever was asleep in number seven probably has - whne you fall asleep in a tent drunk you wake up beaten and bruised!
Burning your bra? Did you run out of wood for the fire?
Skinny dipping with a knitting Grandma who just heckled someone lighting off a major fireworks display....also socially accceptable....I might add.
i think this year beats last year by a pint of whiskey. sounds like you had a wild awsome time
p.s. you so should have stolen that pigeon and made it your "4th of july" mascot or something....ahh well perhaps next year
Makes me wish I would have been there!
I've said it before, Jenni, and I'll say it again: You are my HERO (and quite possibily the wind beneath my wings).
Those goddamn loons . . . I'd like to set one of them on fire, while skinny dipping and talking politics with your friend's husband, um, I mean wife. A girl.
Ah, another splendid Fourth for you! I think you hit on an idea there about skinny dipping while discussing politics. I think congress should try that. Some of them certainly have but with the wrong people.
I'm going to have to counter and say that moments of my weekend were far more dangerous than yours. I mean, c'mon, I spent 4 WHOLE DAYS with my mother - that in itself should win awards... ;)
I'm hoping that you weren't the LONE LOON at the lake at 3:00 A.M. (and if you were, what sound did you actually make?) ;-)
~ jb///
i like that post. i like everything with list. especially well written list. i think you have potential. lots of potential. hidden, waiting to be unearthed.
who stole my pigeon?
Sounds like a blast. Much better than the one-horse town I ended up in on July 4th. Middle of nowhere Conneticut
This is the kind of sound advice you just can't get from self-help books! Perhaps you should write a manual for the way people really live.
The sound of a loon IS the most beautiful sound on earth. I'm glad someone else agrees with me. It reminds me of the summers in my childhood...what I wouldn't give to go back somedays.
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