I'm still alive...

I plan on refraining from writing about the imaginary pair of testicles that I do not have (see last post) however, if I did have a pair now would be the time to use them.

Things in my world have been Crazy (Yes, with a "Capital C"). You see we have this new program at work that has taken off like wildfire and has kept me extremely busy with phone calls day and night and visiting clients throughout the state of MN in 100 degree heat that has left me, well, exhausted.

I'm tired. Period. Actually, my sister bought me this awesome deep tissue massage that is calling my name, but I don't have time to get it done. It's like it's at my finger tips, just out of my reach. So frustrating.

To add insult to injury I have to work tomorrow. Albeit at home buying deals, it's still work and takes a HUGE chunk out of what should be my well-earned two-day weekend and turns it into a day and a half weekend. Blah.

I shouldn't complain. I'll stop complaining. I'm doing really well and getting paid equally as well for all my hard work, I just wish sometimes these things would come easier. You know?

GO TWINS!

That's all.

Consumerism: It’s got me by the balls.

Figuratively speaking of course, that’s if I had them…balls that is. I recently fell into Best Buy’s 0% financing for 18 months scheme, and used it to buy myself a nice 32 inch Samsung LCD HGTV. Now keep in mind, I tend to shy away from purchasing things with acronyms, and things that are electronic and have acronyms…MULTIPLE ACRYNOMS…well, they just scare the hell out of me.

I went in with good intentions to spend only $1600 on a television that would not only allow me to view my favorite programs in a new light, but also to help me save space. However, I left spending just over two grand on the tv and it’s “accessories” like a wall mount, high-definition “Monster Cable”, and four-year in home warranty (note: you can ALWAYS sell a salesperson).

Now you may ask, “Was it worth it?”

HELL YEA IT WAS WORTH IT!


Not only can I see every blemish on my favorite nightly newscaster, but I saved myself a TON of space where my old television sat.

I’ll be the first to admit I was feeling a teeeennnyyy bit guilty as I was in my car waiting for the salesperson to bring it outside. I mean, I have ZERO credit card debt and like to pay for things in cash. Actually, the conversation between Josh and I went something like this:

Je(Jenni): Wow, Two-thousand dollars for a TV.
Jo(Josh): Yeah, wow.
Je: But I DID get 10% off the TV, and 20% off the cable, and the wall mount was only like $125.
Jo: Yeah.
Je: And the warranty is really a must have…I mean, you HAVE to have one with everything that can go wrong with the thing.
Jo: Yeah.
Je: And 0% for eighteen months! Shit! They’re practically GIVING it away!
Jo: (Pause) Totally.

That’s my reasoning…”They’re practically giving it away.”

Shut up. My reasoning is working, the television is mounted, the cables are buried behind the wall, and there’s no turning back.

Yup, got me by the balls….er….whatever, you know what I mean.

Knitting: Because That's How I Roll.

EXHIBIT A:


So, as you all know from reading my last post, I learned how to knit. I know what you’re all thinking, you’re thinking, “Wow, not only can she compose a Top Ten List to beat the band, but she can also knit…this chick is AMAZING.” And of course you’re right. However, I have found that knitting has become a tad bit addicting, not addicting to the point where I need to have my knitting needles by my side 24/7, but addicting to the point where when I sit down with them in my hand…well…it’s kinda hard to stop.

You see, once you get the logistics down, knitting is pretty mindless. You can just sit there and allow your mind to go blank as you fashion a scarf (see "Exhibit A"), bag, potholder, or hat. So, not only is it like doing nothing, it’s like doing nothing while actually getting something done.

This comes in especially handy at the end of a busy day. I work in an industry where I have to be quick witted and overcome objections on a daily basis, if I can’t do that I’ll get eaten alive, therefore, from 8:00 to 6:00 my mind is typically running a mile a minute and to be able to come home, and just shut down is welcome. Very welcome.

So, I invite you all to give it a try. It’s harmless and only semi addicting. Come on. Everyone’s doing it. Seriously. You know you want to.

(Yes, I know it's 93 degrees outside and I'm wearing a scarf in the above photo, however I am not wearing the scarf on a regular basis, this was just for modeling purposes...and for days like this)

The Top Ten Things I Learned At The Cabin July 4th Weekend 2006

After much anticipation....


10). It is possible to fit 10 (drunk) adults in a Mercury Villager. (I didn't say it was SAFE, I said it was possible.)

9). When you want to dance on the bar, at a bar in Northern Wisconsin, don't ask...Just do it.

8). Watching your friend walk up the stairs when they can't see (thanks to the half a handle of Captain Morgan they just drank) and not helping them isn't nice. It's funny, but not nice.

7). When you're sleeping in a tent with someone who snores when they're drunk make sure you drank enough to pass out too. If you don't, nailing them repeatedly in the arm with a closed fist will get you nowhere. Neither will slapping them in the face...Or punching them in the stomach.

6). Having a 45-minute conversation about politics while naked and skinny dipping with your friend's husband is totally socially acceptable.

5). So is burning your bra.

4). Heckling the person who is lighting off a major fireworks display will get you nowhere.

3). When you're on a three-day bender take a break from the sauce and learn how to knit. It would make Grandma proud.

2). Even when you pass up the opportunity to steal a cement pigeon from a bar, the chances of that pigeon ending up in your lawn as an ornament upon returning home are high.

1). The sound of a lone loon on a quite lake at 3 A.M. is quite possibly the most beautiful sound in the entire world.