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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Writing's on the Wall


Check out this email we received today from our marketing department regarding an order of pens that we were supposed to receive to pass out to clients. I have my own theory behind this...

"Hello, Marketing is holding off on the pen order until the final alignment of the sales region structure. I will keep in touch with marketing for updates."

"Thanks"


TRANSLATION:

Prepare yourself. The majority of you are about to be unceremoniously laid off. Spending billions of dollars to bailout other corporations who have found themselves up "Shit Creek" aside, we feel that giving you a $25 box of 250 count pens to be excessive. We will not provide parting gifts, nor will we allow you to never have to buy a pen again for the next 10 or so odd years. If you should need something to hand out to dealers, we have some golf tees at the back of the supply closet that we can send you, providing that you pay shipping and handling and include them on your expense report.

Get your resume ready, it's "go" time.

8 comments:

Bud said...

It's a brand new world and I'm lucky to have retired in the old world. My heart goes out to you. Now in y second life I have to figure out how to make it work in the new world of jobless people.

Liberal Banana said...

Or maybe they're saving the money they would've spent on pens for a big party for their employees to celebrate how hard you've been working this past year??

Anyone?

Bueller?

m.a. said...

I'm sorry, Jenni. I know how you feel. :(

Steph said...

Ah Jen...I feel ya. "Final Alignment of the Sales Region structure." Yeah...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I hope you aren't really going to get laid off. : (

I hate that feeling. I much prefer getting laid over getting laid off.

I got laid 4 times this afternoon and laid off zero times, and I'd say it was all in all a super day.

Seriously, hope you don't get shit canned. I'd pray for you, but I'm a raging atheist.

heather k said...

Ouch! Those mofos will keep you if they've got any brains at all...:(

bigus dickus said...

thats crazy yo!

admin said...

Jenni,
i got a couple of questions and something to put forward to you in regard to your blog!
drop me an email, i couldnt find your contact details on your blog.
Cheers
Dwayne
admin@eyebrownet.com