An Open Letter to a Douchebag

To the Douchebag who has this bumper sticker on his vehicle;

“Foreign cars are like tampons, every pussy’s got one.”

You are an idiot.

First of all, has your mother seen this? Or more importantly, has your GRANDMOTHER? Unless they are living in a trailer park in the back-woods of Alabama I can guarantee you, they would be extremely offended.
If I pulled up to my moms house with that attached to my car she would first, most probably rip out her eyeballs, and then she'd make me scrape it off my car with my teeth...All while saying the Lords Prayer and the Apostle's Creed ten times in succession.

Secondly, do you think this is funny? Seriously? Because I think it makes you look like a complete tool. Which, I don’t know if you’re up on this or not, is something you don’t want to look like. In fact, the majority of the people I know wake up every morning and make sure that they don’t appear to be as stupid and lame as you. Yes, you are the benchmark for stupid.

And lastly, that sentence is a grammatical nightmare and it makes you look like even more of an A-hole than you already are.

Maybe next time, before you attach bumper stickers to your car, you should seek advice from someone besides your idiotic friends.

Jenni

P.S. You know the 1994 primer-black painted Blazer you’re driving? The majority of its parts were made in Mexico.

Jackass.