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Thursday, June 21, 2007

An Open Letter to a Douchebag

To the Douchebag who has this bumper sticker on his vehicle;

“Foreign cars are like tampons, every pussy’s got one.”

You are an idiot.

First of all, has your mother seen this? Or more importantly, has your GRANDMOTHER? Unless they are living in a trailer park in the back-woods of Alabama I can guarantee you, they would be extremely offended.
If I pulled up to my moms house with that attached to my car she would first, most probably rip out her eyeballs, and then she'd make me scrape it off my car with my teeth...All while saying the Lords Prayer and the Apostle's Creed ten times in succession.

Secondly, do you think this is funny? Seriously? Because I think it makes you look like a complete tool. Which, I don’t know if you’re up on this or not, is something you don’t want to look like. In fact, the majority of the people I know wake up every morning and make sure that they don’t appear to be as stupid and lame as you. Yes, you are the benchmark for stupid.

And lastly, that sentence is a grammatical nightmare and it makes you look like even more of an A-hole than you already are.

Maybe next time, before you attach bumper stickers to your car, you should seek advice from someone besides your idiotic friends.

Jenni

P.S. You know the 1994 primer-black painted Blazer you’re driving? The majority of its parts were made in Mexico.

Jackass.

9 comments:

Momentary Academic said...

People just astound me sometimes. And what's worse is that if the driver could afford it, that person would be driving one of those fancy foreign cars.

Aliecat said...

That's just gross...

On a related note, I once saw a bumper sticker that said, "My other ride's your mom." Laughed all day about that one...

Bud said...

I hate nearly all bumper stickers. I just don't give a shit what anybody else believes. It's annoying that they want to put it in my face. I totally agree with you.

Grad School Reject said...

"You are the benchmard for stupid."

Favorite line I've read all week. I love angry Jenni.

Grad School Reject said...

And of course I have a typo in that comment. Please do not designate me as the new benchmark. Please.

Sandra said...

Actually is there even such a thing as a 100% American-made vehicle? I don't really think so.

heather k said...

Wow. That bumper sticker's not even correct, I mean, not every pussy has a...nevermind.

bigus dickus said...

what a looser! american cars just are not the best anymore and haven't been for a long time

Shocka Khan said...

HEY! I live in a trailer park...btw...do ya know where I can gits me ones of dose Bumpah Stickah's?

King Shocka Khan