MOTHER FU*@!R!!!

Effing Ow.

Have you ever had a dislocated biceps tendon?

This morning when I went to the chiropractor because I could no longer sleep he told me that both of my biceps tendons were dislocated. Which doesn't surprise me in the least after the 18 holes of golf I played last Monday.

A lesson in anatomy:


The biceps tendon is the structure that connects the biceps muscle to the bone. There is a proximal biceps tendon at the shoulder joint, and a distal biceps tendon at the elbow.

For me, the tendon was dislocated at the shoulder joint. Which makes it hard to lift your arms past your waist, or sleep comfortably.

The thing is, this has happened to me before, but not for a few years and when I went in to get it "corrected" I essentially realized that it sucks more than I remember.

My chiropractor takes my arm, digs his thumb into the side of it while he locates the "loop" of the tendon then asks me to count to four in Spanish while he digs his thumb further into my arm and twists it just to the point where I think he's going to rip off my shoulder. Then he repeats this five more times...ON EACH ARM. Like counting in Spanish is suddenly going to make the pain dissapear. RIIIGGGHHHTTT...Not so much.

Now, being that I have R.A. I have a pretty high pain tolerance...THANKFULLY. I managed to live through it without crying, although I think I may have bit a hole through my lip.

Anyway, I feel much better and after the hour and a half adjustment I feel like all the pain was worth it...Until next time.

Gah.

Pole Dancing and Bangs

Last weekend at the cabin as we were all sitting around the campfire drinking booze, we decided to play “Truth or Dare.” As a matter of fact, it wasn’t JUST “Truth or Dare”, it was “Truth, Dare, Double-Dare, Promise or Repeat.”

The long of the short of it is that I was “Dared” to do a pole dance. With a rake.

Now, I could probably throw out a few moves that would rival even the most seasoned skanky stripper, but the problem there was, the rake wasn’t attached to anything. So essentially I just shimmied up and down the rake in a most drunk, obnoxious, and most probably non-sexy way. Thankfully, my audience was also drunk so they thought it was brilliant.

[Note to self: Strip in front of drunk people.]

Speaking of dare, I went to my hair stylist yesterday for my scheduled appointment. I was fully intending to go in and do something drastic. More specifically, I wanted to get an inverted bob.

She talked me out of it.

She said she just loves my hair and I shouldn’t do something THAT drastic right away. With that being said, I still wanted something different, so I gave her control and she cut me some bangs.

I haven’t had BANGS since the 1st grade, and I’m not so sure how I feel about them. I mean, they look great when I have my hair pulled back, but when it’s all down I feel like I look like Joe Dirt.

OK, so it’s not THAT bad, and I don’t have a mullet, I guess I’m just not used to them.

Thankfully my hair grows fast.

It’s only hair.

I'm O.K.

This is crazy. Although, I don't travel on this bridge every day, I'm on it often enough to be shaken up about it.

As a matter of fact, I have been avoiding this bridge the past few months because of the construction, and only taking it when it wasn't rush hour. It has been a pain in ass...Which I bet for many was a blessing in disguise.

This bridge usually has eight lanes of traffic (four in each direction open, but thankfully because of the construction it was down to two lanes. It's hard to say this, but it could have been much worse.

Here's a first hand account. Plus video of the collapse as it is happening taken by a surveillance camera.