Security Level Is Orange (Alternate Title Ziploc Saves the World)

So, I've been doing some traveling lately for my new job. Like my old office, my new office is also in Chicago which requires me to hop on an airplane once in a while to go in for training and the like.

Have you BEEN to the airport lately? I am assuming we have Al Queida laughing all the way to his cave as we have somehow let our TSA talk us and their representatives into believing that a Ziploc bag will somehow be the barrier that will prevent my hotel-sized hand lotion from blowing up an airplane.

Who knew?

ZIPLOC could be the answer to each and every threat upon the United States National Security as we know it. You thought they were only good for preserving your lunch? WRONG...Ziploc is also good for preserving your LIFE.

In other news, I've spent the last few weeks getting ready for my new job. The first week was spent at a Regional Sales conference in Lake Geneva, WI at the old playboy club. What a great place and what a grand time.

The last night there I was able to put to use years of show choir choreography and put together a dance and song that us "newbies" were required to perform in front of the whole region set to the tune of the 'YMCA" and "Rawhide."

I'll be the first to admit, getting five guys on the floor while ten girls rode them like horses and slapped their asses to the tune of rawhide was one of my most proud moments.

This is at a corporate banking event people....CORPORATE REPRESENTATIVES WERE RIDING THEIR PARTNERS LIKE BULLS AND SLAPPING THEM ON THEIR ASSES.

Which made me realize, if I can get people to do that, I can get them to do anything.

Shit, I'm trouble

A time for change.

I wasn't planning on quitting my job, I mean I was conventionally happy where I was at. Sure, there may have been a few things I would have liked to change, but doesn't everyone want to change something about their job?

Anyway, the long of the short of it is I was recruited by a competitor of mine, a company that is revered as number one in the industry. (Rhymes with "Ray.Tee. Horgan Face) I went through a few interviews and it turned out that they offered me the job. I wasn't really shocked...I mean, not to sound conceded or anything but the interviews went REALLY well and I just kind of knew...you know? But the offer was one I could not refuse and I accepted.

But the REAL shocker didn't come until I actually quit my other job this past Monday. My boss was truly shocked. He didn't see it coming and I let him know that I didn't either. The day proceeded with a few phone calls here and there asking me the resons why I was leaving and how much I think their business will be affected by my departure. It wasn't until the last phone call that I realized I made the right decision.

I answered the phone again and it was my boss and the first thing out of his mouth was "So, are you REALLY gone?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Well, Frank is pretty upset that you're leaving."

Realizing that the Frank he is talking about just happens to be the Frank who is the President of Sales, I wondered to myself , why would Frank care? People quit all the time!

"Really? Why is that?"

"Well, you know you were the number one rep in the company the last two months in a row."

"WHAT? I was WHAT?"

I didn't even know I was the number one rep. How sad is THAT? Don't you usually get some sort of pat on the back when you're the number one rep? Way to go Jen! Here's a gift card to go have a nice dinner on us, or here's a little extra bonus for doing a great job! Or even just a little bit of f'in recognition!

But, no, nothing like that.

The sad part is, Steph who happens to do the same thing I do for the same company out in California knew and left me this really funny message when she found out I quit.

It went something like.

"...My first reaction when I heard you had quit was to laugh hystarically because a). They must have given you a great offer, and b). You had the balls to quit while you were on top.

And that last thing...Having the balls to quit when I was on top (even though I didn't know I was one top)...Well, that makes me smile.