Monday, February 21, 2005

To Award, or Not to Award...That is the Question.

And The Award for Best Supporting Overrated Actor In an Overrated Movie Starring another Overrated Actor goes to….

It’s that time of year again. Time to inflate the already large and obnoxious egos of those that grace the silver screen through award show after award show. You see, as Americans we like to hand out awards to the rich and famous in order to further increase their cash flow allowing them to become even more rich and even more famous than they were before. And we insist on doing this through multiple venues such as the Oscars, Emmy’s, Grammy’s, Golden Globes, Sag Awards, Golden Satellite Awards, MTV Music Awards, People’s Choice Award’s, Teen Choice Awards, VHI Awards, etc.

Now I am not trying to pee on anyone’s parade here, I just want to make a point. For example, we all know that George Clooney is hot, and I have no problem paying ten dollars to go see him on a big screen in the movie theatre, especially when he is paired with Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. But to rant and rave and present another award after another award on what seems to be every Sunday throughout the months of January, February and March is just taking it a little too far. It’s kind of like hearing how good a particular ice cream is and then when you try that ice cream it is not as good as you’ve heard, and now you’re pissed because you spent $5 on a quarter of a pint of Haagen Dazs peppermint ice cream that just plain sucks (Actually, that analogy doesn’t really make any sense, but George kind of makes me hot and when I’m hot I think of ice cream and then I thought of the peppermint kind that was really disappointing, kind of like these award shows. Anyway…)

Not only do these award shows never seem to end, once they do we are bombarded by post-award coverage. Every newsstand is stocked with magazines claiming to have the answer to “Who’s Hot & Who’s Not” at the latest show. After umpteen years of these shows don’t you think we have all caught on to what is glamorous or not? It’s all the same, every year; White floor-length deep-v cut Chanel gown on curvaceous actress= Hot. Pink tutu with ballet slippers on seemingly malnourished actress = Not. It’s all about common sense and when and where not to wear a stuffed goose that wraps around your neck.

And what about those people out there that spend their lives doing good for other people and go through life completely unnoticed? Not that she was completely unnoticed, but I never saw Mother Theresa decked out in a Prada gown strolling down the red carpet adorned with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewels. Or my first grade teacher Mrs. Holland who was just as beautiful as any actress out there who taught me that when you take one apple away from two you still have one apple left. Or that fireman that was called to my house, ready to put his own life on the line after I almost burnt it down thanks to an unfortunate toaster oven accident.

I am not the only one who thinks this way. To add validation to my argument Chris Rock, host of the upcoming Oscars airing this Sunday the 27th on ABC, stated that he thinks award shows are “idiotic” as recently quoted in an “Entertainment Weekly” interview. “Come on, it’s a fashion show,” Rock told the magazine. “What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don’t recognize comedy, and you don’t see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?” Apparently, this statement ruffled quite a few feathers at the good old academy as droves of stuffy members called in to try and get Rock removed as host. Much to their dismay, Rock is still scheduled to be host, with a “several second time-delay” to avoid any complications with the FCC, thanks to Janet Jackson’s “Nipplegate,” it’s to be expected.

So the conclusion that you would probably make from this is that no, I will not be watching the Oscars. Not only because I don’t want to be confronted with the sheer horror that any movie starring Keanu Reaves could possibly win an award, but also because I want to stand firm in my beliefs that there are people out there in this world that deserve an award for the things they do everyday. Like the teachers that show our children how to read and write, and the doctors along with the firemen and paramedics that save our lives, and the scientists that create important drugs such as Viagra. These are the people that deserve an award, and these are the people we should admire and aspire to be. Because without these people where we be? Dumb, dead, and not able to get any action, that’s where we would be.
Posted by Jen

1 comment:

Lifetaster said...

You are Oh So Right!