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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Things That Made Me Go Hmmmmm

It’s Sunday night and I’ve decided I need to update the blog since I’ve been nothing but a huge slacker. Unfortunately, my life has lately been anything but exciting and well, let’s just say “non-blog worthy.”
I had this great idea last week to compile a list entitled “Things that made me go hmmm” which didn’t make it far since it appears that very little surprises me these days. I had a couple of lame things which included a young skanky looking stripper type female who decided to carry on a 20 minute conversation over the house phone in the gym locker room, completely nude. She was holding a towel and she couldn’t even put it around her waist…gross. I don’t care how confident you are about your body, no one (speaking for most females and some males) wants to walk into the locker room and see your naked ass on the phone. Seeing this, made me think of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry has a girlfriend who likes to constantly be naked which eventually turned him against her when she was trying to open a jar of pickles completely nude. The moral of the episode was there are just some things you shouldn’t do naked, including the all-new talking on the phone in a public place.
Other than that there was the untimely phenomenon where both of my two hair dryers miraculously died on the same day, forcing me to buy another, which is a whole other story in itself.
And the last one being how a guy could get his balls caught in a golf course ball washer (reference previous journal entry “Darwin Awards”).

Friday night I watched “Garden State”, a movie about a heavily medicated, emotionally comatose man who returns home for his mothers’ funeral. He reunites with his friends whom he hasn’t seen in a long time, one of them being a grave robbing gravedigger, and the other a self-made millionaire thanks to his ingenious invention of “silent velcro.” He falls in love with a girl he meets while getting his head examined who just happens to be an Epileptic- pathologic liar. Throughout the movie he constantly dodges the opportunity to make amends with his father after being accused (and subsequently sent away to boarding school) of paralyzing his mother thanks to an unfortunate dishwasher accident. Anyway, the movie is good and quite amusing (my favorite part is when he wakes up after a night of partying with “Balls” written on his forehead in marker…HA!).

Saturday night Josh’s parents took us out for Sushi for Valentines Day and afterward we went to Sears with the whole fam damily to check out a vacuum cleaner (nothing says romance quite like the appliance department at Sears). We then decided after spending 45 minutes comparing vacuums, that it was a good idea to go to the liquor store and buy booze to make Cosmos so we could spend what we had left of the night with a cocktail in hand.

Today I took a field trip with Josh and Damian, which usually ends up with the three of us sitting at some random bar, watching random TV, and talking about weird shit. Case in point: our word of the day “congruence” and its definition yet to be completely determined. We were able to use it five times in a sentence and then move on to more important topics like the man who “pissed himself out of an avalanche.” Apparently, a man in Russia found himself in a bit of a bind when he was buried in an avalanche while in his vehicle with a bunch of beer. He tried to dig himself out and soon discovered that when he peed on the snow it melted and voila! Instant out. He drank all the beer, ruined his liver and other vital organs, but he is alive and now able to drink anyone under the table, hands down. I had yet to determine whether or not this story is true, but I have decided to amuse myself and keep from any further investigation as to it’s validity, therefore adding it to my list of “Things that made me go hmmm.” Some things are better left to the imagination.
Posted by Jen

1 comment:

snowskatermn said...

slovak pees way out

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1261997.html?menu

confluence

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=confluence