Friday, February 18, 2005

And There She Was, In All Her Splendor...

Being brought up as a Lutheran, I’ve never quite understood the significance of the Virgin Mary. Sure, I’ve watched as her followers stood in awe at her image that has magically appeared in grilled cheese sandwiches, bowls of soup, and even more recently, on a tree in the yard of the Swanson’s family home in Rush City. MN.
Being the skeptic that I am, when I saw the pictures aired over last night’s news I believed that the image was everything except what they were claiming. I was convinced that it could have been anything, (even more so that it was an image of an alien) until I fell down the stairs last night and something strange formed on my ass. It is a bruise, in the shape of what appears to be Mary herself. All joking aside, I’m not going to call the pope, or Kare 11 news for that matter and have Rick Kupchella reporting live in my living room as his camera man pans in on my rear-end to get a shot of a lifetime. No, I’d rather keep all of this to myself, and to my readers to let you all know that Mary is out there. Whether she appears in a bowl of alpha bits or on your tuna melt, in the tree in your backyard, or in the form of a bruise on your ass, you can feel confident that she is watching over each and every one of us.
As spoken by Clark Griswold in the movie “Vacation”…”Hallelujah… Holy Shit!”

Posted by Jen


Danika said...

You are NOT going to believe this. Seriously. I'm freaking out here.

I have a BRUISE on the inside of my thigh that looks like the Virgin Mary. (Naughty Mary!). I just discovered it this morning.

Prof. Schwarzenegger said...

This is from my freakin' town. Dear Lord, what kind of Rubes is my town filled with?

Kare 11 and the rest of local news - proving that "news" is really just a subjective term.